from the heart: the "perfect" family

I'm pretty sure I have written this particular blog post out in my head at least a dozen times. It's something that has been on my heart for quite awhile. After reading this blog post from Tales of the Mommy Trenches, I decided it was time to put my thoughts into words.

I must begin with saying that becoming a mother as been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I absolutely love being a mom. Even during the stressful moments, I know that I am fulfilling my calling to be a parent. 

Josh and I decided to start trying for our first child in February of 2009 on Valentine's Day. He took me out on an amazing date and we talked about it at dinner. We had only been married about 8 months but we had talked about how we wanted children even when we were dating. In July 2009, we conceived our first child, our sweet Julianna. From that moment, the talks of whether it was a boy or a girl began. When I got pregnant, I never really thought about that. I thought about how thankful I was to have this child in my womb and how scared I was of having so much responsibility. Josh and I had no preference regarding the gender- we were just excited. I am a huge planner so I had to know what I was having so I could plan accordingly. We were so excited to find out that we would soon be parents of a little girl.

Within the next few weeks as the news of our baby's gender spread, I remember people asking us (particularly Josh), if we had been hoping for a boy. I just couldn't believe it. I never had a preference in gender because it really didn't matter to me and it wasn't up to me. God chose to bless us with a daughter. I wasn't disappointed for this is His plan for our lives, to raise a daughter.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Psalm 123:7 (ESV)

And then comes my third (I miscarried my second child) pregnancy and the gender talks and "perfect" family discussions start. I heard more people telling me how they hoped I was having a boy so that we would have the "perfect" family since we already had a girl. Why is one girl and one boy considered a "perfect" family? I honestly just don't understand. Every family in my eyes is "perfect" because that is what God planned for them. I feel like we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if we believe that a family must consist of one girl and one boy. There is absolutely nothing wrong in hoping you have a girl or boy but I would never try for another child just to conceive a specific gender. Children are a blessing.

image via pinterest

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

James 1:17 (ESV)

This brings me to now. I have two daughters and I love them with all of my heart. We have so much fun together and I never feel like I am missing out on anything because I don't have a boy. Josh feels the same way and he is an amazing father to our daughters. We have always wanted a third child and many people know that. We hear constantly, "are you ready to try for that boy?" or "it's time for a boy!" These questions and comments really drive me crazy. Let's change the way we discuss children: "are you ready to try for another child? and "it's time for another child!" Let's not be gender specific in these types of questions or comments. If we have another girl, we will be thrilled (and no, we won't try a fourth time to get a boy). If we have a boy, we will be thrilled. 

Can we all join together to say that the "perfect" family is a family that is filled with love and hearts that are for God? A "perfect" family is less than perfect but shows each other grace and forgiveness. The "perfect" family laughs together and cries together.

The perfect family is your family and mine. 

from the heart: bloom where you are planted

As Olivia's second birthday approaches, I think about how much has changed in my life in the past two years. The biggest change was her birth. Two children is so much different than one- especially when they are 26 months apart. The first few months after Olivia was born, were some of the most challenging months of my life. Besides having her, my career also changed around that time as well. I decided to postpone my teaching career and stay at home with my two girls. I left the school that I had dedicated so many hours at as a classroom teacher to four groups of amazing third graders. It was one of the toughest decisions of my life because since I was a little girl that was all that I had really wanted to achieve. I wanted to be a teacher. The first few months after I had Olivia, I really missed teaching. Teaching was my comfort zone. Staying at home with two children and meeting their every need 24/7 was very new to me. 

Due our family's financial situation, I needed to return to work when Olivia was about 5 months old. I interviewed for 2 teachings job and neither one of them worked out. At the time, I was frustrated and couldn't understand why they didn't work out for me. After that, I randomly remembered an opportunity that was presented to me a few months prior. The director at The Dream Center, who was also a friend of mine, wanted me to come work there as a lead teacher. When she initially asked me, I didn't want to do it since I had just left my other job and I had a nursing baby who refused bottles. But sitting on my couch one day in December, I randomly sent her a Facebook message to see if she still had any positions available and to my surprise she did. The timing was right. It was perfect actually. I could spend most of my time with my children and leave a few hours to work with at-risk youth who I could teach. I could fulfill my lifelong desire of being a teacher while still spending most of my time with my girls. An even bigger blessing that came about was that my mother offered to watch my girls, free of charge, for me to go to work at The Dream Center.

A few weeks after I began my job at The Dream Center, Josh was offered a new job. Life started falling back into place after feeling like it was falling apart. So here we are about 15 months later. I still absolutely adore my job at The Dream Center. I love working with the kids- mentoring, teaching, tutoring, and inspiring them. I believe my 4 years in the classroom prepared me for the jobs I have today- motherhood and working at The Dream Center.

I work Monday-Thursday from 2pm-5:45pm so I have a lot of time with my girls before I have to be at work. We fill that time up with many activities such as preschool, storytime, and my most favorite thing, my mom group- which I will share more about in another post. Being able to spend so much quality time with Julianna and Olivia has been amazing. I feel like I missed out on so much during Julianna's first two years while I was working full-time but we are making up for lost time now.

The question I get asked most often is- are you going to go back to teaching? I'm never really sure how to answer this question because I feel like I am teaching right now. I'm not in a traditional classroom setting but I do teach every single day. Whether it's my own children or the students at The Dream Center, everyday I am teaching. Will I ever go back to the classroom? I'm not sure. But I am sure of one thing, I am right where I am supposed to be at this season of my life. I have found the perfect balance of family time and work time. It's truly such a blessing. So for now, I will bloom where I have been planted and I hope you will bloom where you are planted, too. God puts us exactly where we are supposed to be and I know with certainty that I am right where I am supposed to be and blooming with content.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. 

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

image via pinterest

fashion: Good Friday + Friday Favorites

Today is Good Friday and before I share my Friday Favorites, I have to share a verse with you. Good Friday is the day that Jesus died on the cross for us. It's such an important day in history. The scripture below is one of my very favorite ones. Read it and reflect on it today. Thank You for the ultimate sacrifice.

Our weather today isn't springlike again. It's overcast with cool temperatures. Tomorrow isn't looking pretty either. But I am still dreaming dresses, sandals, shorts, and floral print. Old Navy is currently have a great sale so the dress and bag even less than what I paid for them. I love a good sale!

// dress // shorts // headwrap // sandals // earrings // purse //

fashion: Anchors Away

I have always loved anchors. I love all things nautical and anchors remind me of one of my favorite Bible verses: 

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19 NIV

My next tattoo will be one for Olivia using her middle name, Grace and an anchor. So below you will find some anchor fashion and accessories that I love. Anchors away!

// shorts // top // skirt // mirror // necklace // shoes //